A Small Problem
by mooniestar-69
Summary: This is something I've been working on lately. Kenshin's self-esteem, along with some "other" things, have been down lately and Kaoru wants to find the solution.
1. A Problem with Kenshin

Chapter 1  
  
"Megumi-san, may I speak with you please?" asked the assistant master of the Kamiya dojo, nervously twisting her slender hands, which were covered with rough calluses from sword training. How in the world did she get into this situation?  
  
"You know that I'm open to any questions you might have, Kaoru-chan. What is it?" the woman doctor inquired, leaning out of the clinic doorway, "Is Ken-san ignoring you again? Because if he is, I can always tell you how to get his attention..." she said slyly, fox ears popping up. Kaoru blushed profusely at the simple question.  
  
"You can?? I mean, well, no, not exactly...it's just that, umm..."  
  
"Spit it out already, Tanuki." Kaoru's pink cheeks turned red at the silly nickname Megumi had given her.   
  
"Well, you see...umm..." Kaoru sighed deeply. There was no getting out of it now.  
  
"I'm sure you're well aware that Kenshin and I have been married for well over a year now," she started.  
  
"Yes, I know that," Megumi replied, then added quietly, "You seemed to beat me to him this time."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing, go on."  
  
"But anyway, everything seemed to be just perfect. Kenshin is completely happy with me and I think that he's finally found a home. We love each other with all of our hearts. But lately, there's been some sort of... change and I came to you because I knew that you would understand it." Megumi nodded, then gasped and gripped Kaoru into a tight hug.  
  
"Oh I knew this day would come!" she exclaimed, "Tanuki's going to be a mother! Kenshin, you never waste a minute getting down to business." Kaoru's eyes popped out of her head, from both being squeezed and from what Megumi just said.  
  
"I am? I mean, no! I'm not pregnant, Megumi-san," she gasped, breaking away from her.  
  
"Oh."   
  
"It's worse than that, I'm afraid." Kaoru took careful time to stare at her feet, waves of embarrassment washing over her.  
  
"I don't have all day, Kaoru-chan." Kaoru bit her lip and the words tumbled out.  
  
"Something's wrong with Kenshin and I don't know what to do!" she said in one breath.  
  
"What is it? Is he sick?"   
  
"I-I wouldn't call it as being sick."  
  
"Well, tell me what sort of symptoms he has and I'll see if I can diagnose his problem." Kaoru shut her eyes again, chewing on the inside of her cheek. As she started to explain her dilemma, memories of the prior night emerged into her mind.  
  
**************  
  
"Koishii, please don't," said Kenshin, trying yet again to hide from his wife. However, his attempts were futile as Kaoru slid her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. But she pulled away when he didn't respond.  
  
"Kenshin, why? Please, just let me..." Kaoru insisted gently, threading her fingers through his crimson hair. She searched his soft violet eyes for some sort of confirmation, but he dodged her gaze and looked away from her. She frowned and stroked his cheek, but he still would not acknowledge her at all.  
  
"Just let me love you...Kenshin..."   
  
"I-I do love you, but we can't..." He paused, searching for the words. "We can't do this, Kaoru."  
  
"You don't understand! I need you tonight, more than you'll ever know!" Without another thought, she pulled at the white sash to his hamaka, tugging it down. Kenshin immediately grabbed her arms, but she wouldn't stop until--  
  
"Oh my...!" she gasped, leaning backwards. She knew something was wrong, but she had not imagined this. Kenshin sighed heavily, releasing her wrists.   
  
"Do you understand now, Kaoru?" he asked quietly. She bit her lip from embarrassment.   
  
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't--"  
  
"No, you didn't know. And there is no need to be sorry. I am the one that cannot give you what you need." He stood up and fixed his clothes, then walked out from the room. Kaoru held her breath, trying not to let her emotions overcome her. She had no idea...  
  
***************  
  
"I see. So what he has is not a sickness after all, just a difficulty with how his body reacts with certain things," deduced the lady doctor. Kaoru gave her a look of confusion.  
  
"What do you mean, reactions to certain things?" she asked. Megumi gave a strange smirk, then chuckled slightly.  
  
"Oh, Kaoru, sometimes I forget how young you are," she replied, closing her eyes.  
  
"But tell me, Megumi, I need to know what's wrong with him. What can I do?" Kaoru pleaded. Megumi smiled, and pulled her closer.  
  
"I'm so glad that you asked." Megumi pulled up a chair, then motioned for Kaoru to do the same. She looked her straight in the eye and started to explain. "You see, men and women are very different with their sexual desires and what arouses them." At this point, Kaoru's face turned promptly cherry red. The very thought of this was enough to make her eyes pop out.  
  
"Don't look so surprised, Tanuki. You want to know what's going on, so I'm telling you. Now listen. Men respond to what they see, they are visual when it comes to sex. They see a beautiful woman and then 'pop'!" Megumi flicked one of her fingers up into the air. Kaoru gulped.  
  
"Now, women," she continued, "are completely different. Sure, they see a handsome looking man and they blush and giggle. But in reality, they respond to touch. Tell me, when Ken-san kisses you, you can't really stop, can you?" Kaoru, face scarlet from discomfort, nodded meekly.  
  
"That's perfectly normal, and that's what's supposed to happen. But it seems that you aren't exactly giving back what he had given you," explained Megumi, her tone becoming serious.   
  
"Huh??"  
  
"Don't you understand? Men have needs too, so don't be so selfish. Kenshin has been giving you all your needs, so now it's your turn to return the favor." Kaoru stared at her for a moment before the thought could sink in.   
  
"Return the favor...?" she said outloud. Megumi nodded, then stood up.   
  
"Let me tell you a little something about the art of seduction..." 


	2. Makeover

Chapter 2  
  
Kenshin sat up against the wall, holding his sakabatou to his shoulder as usual. This had never happened before. He had never failed to give Kaoru exactly what she wanted...until now. Why was his body so unresponsive? It was almost as if he was catatonic. Was it all the years of battle during the Revolution that made him the way he was? He had not been with a woman for over ten years altogether, when he became a wanderer. Before that, he had Tomoe...  
  
A ray of golden sunlight burst through the window, blinding him slightly. It was morning already, and he had spent all these hours thinking. Well, he should start on his chores and breakfast before the others woke up. But wait...no one else was here! Sanosuke had his own place and Yahiko had spent the night over there, which meant-- Kaoru was the only one here!!  
  
"Oro!" he moaned. After last night's performance, he could never face her again! Kenshin sighed heavily and stood up, shuffling over to the shoji door. He knew that he would have to face her eventually, and after all the time he had spent with her, he learned that it was best to face her sooner. Opening the door, he carefully walked down the hall, listening for any indication that Kaoru might be up. Hearing nothing, he continued quietly to the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast.   
  
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as a he sensed another presence in the room. He knew that it wasn't Kaoru because the feeling he felt from the other person was not anger or hostility. In fact, it felt more like a strange calmness. He gripped the small knife he was using to chop the vegetables with and spun around. Swirling blue orbs stared at him and he gulped.  
  
"K-Kaoru-don--!" Kenshin caught himself before he could let the unwanted honorific slip. Kaoru's eyebrow twitched for a split second, but she erased the annoyance she felt and let her composure take over again. She put on a smile.  
  
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Kenshin," she said cheerfully, walking up beside him. He tensed, unconsciously gripping the knife in his hand. She noticed this and placed her hand on his. He stared at her curiously, wondering why she was acting so happy when he had rejected her the night before.   
  
"Oh, ohayo, Kaoru," he replied uncertainly. Was she perhaps planning something? Planning...revenge? He didn't know...  
  
"Do you need help with breakfast? I'll be more than happy to cook what you've already cut up."   
  
"All right then," Kenshin replied. He relaxed a little as she gathered the chopped vegetables and carried them to the cooking pot outside. Maybe he was just being paranoid. But he shouldn't let his guard down, because she was known to be bipolar when it came to her emotions. They continued to fix the meal in silence, not talking until they had finished eating.  
  
"I should get going now. I need to go teach my students." She stood up, taking her bowl and cup with her. She set them in the cleaning bucket for Kenshin to do later.  
  
"So you will be back at your usual time then?" Kenshin asked.  
  
"Actually, I'll be going with Megumi to town today, so I'll be back in time for dinner."   
  
"Okay," he replied, then more quietly, "Have fun then...koishii." Kaoru stopped in the doorway, as if she had heard him. She turned around slowly and walked back, kneeling beside him. She surprised him by hugging his neck, to which he hesitantly returned.  
  
"Kenshin," she whispered in his ear, "I just want you to know...that it's okay. I am still your wife and I will always be here for you. Aishiteru." Without another word, she released him and stepped out the door. When she left, a smile spread on his face. How could he think that his sweet Kaoru would plan revenge on him? Shaking his head, he stood up and started on his chores.  
  
"What about this one, Megumi?" Kaoru held up a pretty pink kimono with yellow flowers on the bottom.   
  
"No, I don't think so. You're thinking too childish, Tanuki. What you need is something more racy...like that!" Megumi rushed over to the next shop, tugging Kaoru with her. Out in front was a woman's dress, but it certainly wasn't the usual style that she wore. It had a considerably low neckline, and short sleeves; in addition, the length would only be at her knees.   
  
"I don't know about this. It seems so, well, not for me," she finished lamely, touching the soft material.   
  
"What are you talking about? Of course it's for you." Megumi took the dress off the display and handed it to her. "Consider it an early birthday present from me, okay?"  
  
"You mean you're gonna buy this? For me??" she stammered. She stared at the vivid red and gold dress, still unbelieving.  
  
"Yes, it's all yours."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Kaoru-chan, if you want Ken-san to 'get better' then you're going to have to do your part. This is all in the art of seduction."  
  
"But it's just a dress. How will this help?"  
  
"Just trust me, okay? Stop arguing, I know what I'm doing." Megumi took the gown from her and went to pay for it. Kaoru sighed, biting her lip.   
  
"I hope you're right," she said to herself. Megumi came back, smiling. She handed the dress to her and pulled her to the next shop.  
  
"Now, we need to do something about your hair."  
  
"WHAT!? What's wrong with it? There's no way that I'm cutting it!" Kaoru screamed, causing several people to stop and stare.   
  
"I never said anything about cutting your hair. It just needs a different style, that's all," explained Megumi. "I was thinking of letting it down for a change. You always have it up in that silly ponytail." Kaoru pouted and crossed her arms. She liked her hair the way it was.  
  
"Do you want to help Ken-san or not?" demanded Megumi, her hands on her hips. She nodded reluctantly. "Then come on." They saw an older woman in the store, putting away some silk ribbons.  
  
"Excuse me," called Megumi, "Could you help us out please?"  
  
"Of course," the woman replied, "What can I get you?"  
  
"I have a friend that needs a makeover, as quickly as possible." Kaoru freaked and grabbed Megumi's hair, pulling her down.  
  
"What do you mean a 'makeover'?? I thought we were just going to do my hair!" she whispered angrily. Megumi pried her hands from her hair.  
  
"Oh please, you think that just doing your hair will make you the town beauty? Now come over here." She shoved Kaoru into a chair, ignoring her meek protests.  
  
"This will only take a moment." For the next hour, the older woman washed her hair, put a strange sort of thick liquid in it ("It will make your hair glimmer and shine"), then brushed it straight and pulled it back out of the way. Then she started with her make-up...  
  
"NOOOOOO!! Get that thing away from me!" Kaoru shrieked, holding her hands up to her eyebrows.  
  
"Quit being such a crybaby, it's just a few stray hairs."   
  
"But it hurts! Don't pull anymore out!" she whined.   
  
"Get over it!" Megumi tilted Kaoru's head back and plucked some more hairs out from above her nose. "There, all done." Kaoru rubbed it with her fingers until it didn't hurt anymore.  
  
"Anything else that's painful?" she asked miserably.  
  
"Nope. Now close your eyes and relax. She has to apply your eye shadow." Kaoru obeyed and sank into the chair. What would he think of her, now that she was all dressed up? Would he feel different, or would this whole thing blow up in her face?  
  
"Kaoru. KAORU! Wake up, will you?"  
  
"What?" She sat up, feeling a bit dizzy.  
  
"You fell asleep, my dear," explained the old woman.   
  
"Is it done already?" Megumi nodded, a wide smile coming over her face.  
  
"You turned out better than I thought. Here, look." She handed her a mirror.  
  
"Wow," was all she could say as she looked at her face. Her lashes were thicker and darker than usual, her lips a deep blood red, her skin a snow white. Looking up at her hair, she saw her raven tresses, not swinging down from a ponytail, but in an elegant bun, held up by two long black hairpins.   
  
"Is this really me?" she whispered, touching a whisp of hair by her ear.  
  
"I've really outdone myself this time," Megumi said haughtily, "There's no way that Ken-san could resist you now." Kaoru smiled, agreeing with her.  
  
"I can't thank you enough," she said to the shopkeeper, who bowed in gratitude.  
  
"Come on, Kaoru. Let's go give him exactly what he wants." They paid their debt and left. 


	3. Test Drive

Chapter 3  
  
"Thank you so much, Megumi-san," said Kaoru, walking back to the dojo. "Do you really think this will work?"  
  
"Of course it will. Besides, there's always my backup plan," she said slyly.  
  
"Oh...oh my God!!! There he is!!! It's Kenshin!!" Kaoru leaped behind Megumi, hiding as best as she could.  
  
"Stop it! You'll ruin your make-up. And it's not him, it's just Sanosuke."  
  
"Well, I don't want him to see me either. He'll make fun of me," she insisted.   
  
"He will not. Quit acting like a child." Suddenly, she gasped and took Kaoru's hand.  
  
"Hey, let's test you out."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Just walk in front of him. You don't have to say anything. I just want to see if you get a reaction from him."  
  
"I can't do that!"  
  
"Will you do it if I come with you?"  
  
"Well...I guess so."  
  
"Okay! Just act natural." With that, she shoved Kaoru in front of her, prompting her to walk. Sanosuke was sitting on the porch, chewing on his trademark fishbone. She gulped and tried to straighten her shoulders.  
  
"Sway your hips a bit more," Megumi whispered, keeping up with her. She complied and sauntered past the ex-streetfighter. Her movements caught his eye and, amazingly, he raised his head and smirked, his attention completely on her.  
  
"Hey, Fox-Lady, who's your friend?" he asked smoothly. Megumi threw a smile over her shoulder and winked.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased. Sanosuke frowned and jumped up, stepping in front of them. Kaoru panicked and hid behind Megumi, peeking over her shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, I would like to know," he answered. He pushed Megumi out of the way to get a better look at the mystery girl. Kaoru's eyes widened as he took one of her hands in his, doing his best to act like a gentleman. She tried her hardest not to giggle.  
  
"May I have the pleasure of knowing your name, beautiful?" If she wasn't wearing so much make-up, her face would be as red as Kenshin's hair. Should I answer him? Should I make up a fake name? Oh, what do I do now??  
  
"Sanosuke Sagara, you should know better than to be so inquisitive of this young woman," Megumi scolded. "Besides, we have to get going. So much to do and so little time."   
  
"Wait, I'll go with you. Who knows what could happen to such a gorgeous angel as yourself."  
  
"Oh, Sano, you're so sweet. I didn't know you thought of me that way," gushed Megumi.   
  
"Did it look like I was addressing you? I was talking to the pretty lady..." He was back at Kaoru's side, holding her hands again. Megumi's eye twitched.  
  
"I'll have you know that she's not your type!" she exploded. Sanosuke winced at her tone, but was still looking at Kaoru.  
  
"How do you know? She could be into incredebly handsome guys like myself." Kaoru giggled, unable to hold it in any longer.  
  
"I'm very sorry, Sanosuke, but I'm taken," Kaoru laughed, seeing the look of surprise on his face.  
  
"Huh? What do you mean 'taken'? Do you have someone you love already?" Kaoru nodded, and added,  
  
"Actually, I'm married." His face fell and he let go of her hands, noticing the silver wedding ring on her finger.  
  
"Oh, figures," he murmured. This time, it was Megumi who laughed.  
  
"You're so typical, Sanosuke. As usual, you don't have a clue to who you're talking to."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Why don't you take a better look, hmm?" He sighed and gave Kaoru a once-over, looking carefully at her hands. Were those blisters from handling wooden swords? It couldn't be...  
  
"Oh no..." he stepped back, seeing the full picture, "Missy? Is that you?" She nodded and smiled again.  
  
"Wow, you fix up real nice--OW!" he cried as he received a huge smack on the head from both of them.  
  
"Don't talk to her like that! This is for Kenshin, you know," Megumi chided, shaking a finger at him.  
  
"Sorry, but she does. I'm just telling the truth."   
  
"Well, you might think that I look nice, but will Kenshin think so?"   
  
"Believe me, if I thought you were stunning, so will he. He's not that oblivious that he wouldn't notice a beautiful woman, much less his."  
  
"Thank you very much, Sano. I'm glad I got your opinion." Kaoru bowed and went inside with Megumi. Sanosuke sat against the porch again, letting out an small groan.  
  
"I need a drink..." 


	4. Opinions

Chapter 4  
  
Kenshin struggled with some difficulty to carry the three sacks of heavy groceries home, carefully turning the next corner so not to lose his balance. Fortunately, he recognized the small wooden house that was his and he quickened his step, trying to hurry back home. But he proved to be a bit too zealous when he tripped suddenly over an unseen object, sending him and the bags flying to the dirt road.  
  
"Oroooooo!!" he moaned painfully, shaking off the swirly-eyed effect that had took place. Someone above him laughed loudly and a dark shadow covered him.  
  
"Baka deshi, I knew you lost your marbles when you got married. Who knew that your senses had become so obtuse," they sneered. Kenshin stumbled back to his feet, only to be overtowered by the person he least expected to meet.  
  
"Shishou??" he stammered, his fingers fumbling to pick up the bags he had dropped. "What are you doing here in Tokyo?"  
  
"What I do is none of your business. Besides, I was just dropping by to check up on things." He bent down and picked up one of the grocery bags.   
  
"Oh," he voiced, taking the bag from Hiko.  
  
"Oh?" Hiko repeated. "Is that all you can say after I came by just for you and Kaoru-san? I didn't teach you to not show respect, you know."  
  
"Gomenasai. I've just been a little depressed, is all." Kenshin began walking again, Hiko by his side.  
  
"Tell me what she did," Hiko said.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Who else? What did Kaoru-san do to you?" Kenshin sighed, shifting the bags in his hand. He really wasn't planning on speaking about this, especially with his Shishou.  
  
"It's more of what I did to her, or rather what I didn't do." He winced as he remembered everything that had happened, Kaoru being so passionate, her hands on his clothes, then her disappointment for his lack of...talent.  
  
"There's nothing that you can tell me that I won't understand. I'm older than you."  
  
"But I've lived the longest." Kenshin felt like swallowing his words when Hiko gave him a piercing look. He sighed and told him in the least amount of words what had happened. Shortly afterward, Hiko nodded understandingly.  
  
"I knew you wouldn't last long," he replied, laughing a bit. However, Kenshin didn't find it very funny.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Hiko chuckled under his breath, putting on his trademark smile that would make any girl swoon in a 30 mile radius.   
  
"I knew that Kaoru-san had a fighting spirit, but I didn't think that you could ever be overcome by a woman. But I guess that's easy for a man that looks like one." The short samurai narrowed his eyes and walked faster, a bit irritated. He rounded the next corner and came upon the place he called home. He tried not to think about the upcoming consequences that Kaoru might give him. Hiko followed him inside the gate, not caring if he was welcome or not. Sanosuke was sitting on the porch, looking a bit strange. He wasn't drinking sake or chewing on a twig as usual.   
  
"Konnichiwa, Sanosuke," Kenshin greeted, setting the groceries on the wooden steps. Sano looked at him, then at Hiko, but didn't answer.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sano shook his head and stared at the ground, still not answering. Kenshin tried again.  
  
"Are you hurt? Did Megumi say something to you? Did you lose something? Was it--" he asked, trying to rule out any and all problems that might have occurred, but he cut him off.  
  
"You should have seen her, Kenshin," he mumbled, staring off into space.  
  
"Who?" he asked quietly. Sano focused on Kenshin, his thoughts now clear.  
  
"She was absolutely beautiful. I can't believe I didn't see it before. You're so lucky to have her..."   
  
"Are you talking about Kaoru?" Kenshin demanded, suddenly realizing what he was hearing. Sanosuke sounded like he had just fallen in love...with his wife! How dare he think of her as someone he had a chance with! She was his and only his!! Sanosuke noticed the angry glare that Kenshin was giving him and waved his hands in front of his face.  
  
"No no no, I didn't mean it like that. I was just saying that you're, well, kinda missing out. She's really fixed herself up for you," he explained quickly. Kenshin relaxed at his apology, nodding to show his forgiveness.  
  
"You hear that, baka deshi? She's gone and dressed up just for you and you haven't even noticed it yet?" Hiko asked interrogatively, starting up the stairs to the inside. Kenshin jumped up from the floor in front of him.  
  
"Where are you going, Shishou?"  
  
"Where's it look like I'm going? To greet this goddess of yours."  
  
"B-but she's my wife!" Kenshin argued, trying to stop him in the doorway.  
  
"And that's why I'm letting you go first," he answered coolly. Not taking anymore time to argue, Kenshin leapt past him, kicking off his sandals. Now to find Kaoru--  
  
"Oh, Ken-san! Why are you back so soon?" Megumi implored from the hallway, peeking her head out of the door. The redhead jumped at being yelled at so suddenly.  
  
"Megumi-dono, where is Kaoru?" The lady doctor blanched at the question, backing up a bit.  
  
"Oh, um...just a moment," she replied quickly, shutting the paper door behind her. Kenshin came to the conclusion that Kaoru was in that room. Hiko dropped his hand on his student's head, grinning.  
  
"She must have something special prepared for you." Kenshin shook him off, frowning. Megumi came back out again, looking extremely satisfied with herself. She spotted Hiko at once and smiled.   
  
"We'll be right back, Ken-san. Come on, Hiko-sama, we need a man's opinion," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him to Kaoru's room. They disappeared and Kenshin crossed him arms.  
  
"I'm a man. Why can't you have my opinion?" he complained. He was left alone in the foreroom, waiting for them to come back. Wait a minute. Kaoru was his wife, so he should be able to see her when he wanted to. With this in mind, he marched down the hallway, pausing at the shoji door. His hand went to slide it open, when he heard his master's voice.  
  
"Very nice. Although you'll hardly be appreciated by that idiot you married." Kenshin frowned with indignation at his words. But he learned not to take his master too seriously, except when it came to training. He then heard a soft giggle, unmistakably Kaoru's. What was she doing, laughing at Hiko when her husband was right outside the door. He knocked on the wooden panel.  
  
"Megumi-dono, I'm coming in," he warned, about to push the door aside. There was a sudden crash and a loud thump, then Megumi stuck her head out.  
  
"No, Ken-san. You must wait for dinner. That's when you'll see Kaoru."  
  
"Demo--"  
  
"No buts Ken-san," she chided.  
  
"Yare, I'll just prepare dinner right now then," he replied. Megumi practically panicked and shot back in the room, hastily slamming the door shut, right in the samurai's face. He gave an exasperated sigh, then trudged back outside to where Sanosuke was still sitting. He dropped down beside him, propping his chin on his hands.  
  
"I'll never understand women," he mumbled dejectedly.  
  
"I hear ya on that one, buddy," Sano agreed. 


End file.
